Preventing Teen School Drop Outs:
11 Tips for Parents
School is a stressful environment for some students – even for some high-performing academic students. High schoolers and college students alike face stress, anxiety, and increased pressure to perform at their best, leading to school refusal and school dropouts.
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Many parents do not know what to do when their child talks about dropping out or starts showing signs of withdrawing. This can be particularly stressful for parents whose child(ren) may have previously been very academically driven, socially involved, or in the honor system.
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If you’ve noticed warning signs your child may want to drop out of school, here’s what you can do to support your child and help them feel more secure and stable in an educational environment.
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What to Do If Your Child Wants to Drop Out of School
1. Validate Their Feelings and Talk Openly About Anxiety
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When you first hear your child wants to drop out of school, it can be intimidating and frightening. Whether High School or College, a child talking about dropping out can bring up fear of their future, nervousness for their mental state, and a need to step in and fix the problem immediately.
At the start, the main job of a parent is to listen without fear or judgment. Validate the emotions, listen to the concerns, and support your teenager emotionally as they process and share a vulnerable moment. Being supportive at the start helps build solutions later for teens who want to drop out.
2. Get to the Source of the Problem
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After you’ve heard your child through, you want to get to the source of the problem. “I hate school” or “I don’t like it anymore” is rarely the full story.
Working with your child and perhaps their teachers, find out why they want to drop out. Talk about stress, anxiety, grades, social pressure, friends, workload, scheduling, and more. Any number of things could be fueling their desire to leave, like fear of being a failure, feeling stupid, feeling lost, being bullied, or just too much pressure to stay on top of the course load.
Have open and honest conversations and revisit the subject when possible. You don’t need to figure everything out at once, so pause and come back when your child is ready. Remember, when a teen wants to drop out, there is often a reason for the sudden decision.
3. Lean on School Support and Resources
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Your child’s school has resources in place to help with stressful situations. Whether High School or college, you can rope in their teachers, guidance counselors, principal or dean, and any other programs they offer.
Talk to the school about changing the course load, providing more resources to help with stimulation, programs for those with a mental health diagnosis or learning disability, and support groups for both your child and yourself. Take full advantage of everything that is offered.
4. Find Ways to Relieve Pressure
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For students who are overwhelmed, relieving the pressure can go a long way toward making school a more welcoming and positive environment. Children who feel overwhelmed by a scholarship, honor roll, or other academic programs may be pushing themselves too hard and see dropping out as the only solution.
Together, with an academic advisor if possible, look over the courseload and see where you can reduce the amount of work coming home each day or week. By finding places where it’s okay to get a B instead of an A, reducing a class, or waiting till the next semester, you can make subjects more enjoyable. For teens who want to drop out, adjusting the situation can be a life saver and enough hope to keep trying.
5. ​Offer Professional Counseling
Students who are struggling may need to visit a mental health counselor so they feel heard, validated, and have access to resources for their anxiety. A therapy center can provide one-on-one counseling for students, work together with them and their school for more resources, and offer family sessions so everyone is on the same page.
Never be shy about pulling in outside professional help – therapists, social workers, and counselors want to see kids succeed and often have access to resources like diagnosis testing, school aid, and more.
6. Create Calming Morning Routines
The worst part of the day is often the start of the day. Brainstorm routines you can do together or your child can do at college to make the day feel calmer in the morning. This could be brewing their favorite cup of coffee, leaving time to listen to music, or getting in a walk.
Finding ways to start the day off on a positive note can help them feel empowered and excited for the rest of the day. Remember, giving stability and a sense of control to students who feel powerless can help immensely.
7. Look Into Other Schools
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Sometimes, the environment is the problem and the environment cannot be corrected. This could be a lack of resources, not a good match, a socially different population, or classes that don’t fit your child’s academic level.
If your child is thinking of dropping out of college, consider other universities for the following semester. For teens who want to drop out of high school, look into trade schools, home school programs, home school pods and communities, tech schools, or other public schools they may qualify for. This can be a huge help in empowering kids to take control and find an environment that works for them so they can succeed.
8. Find Ways to Take Breaks
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Gap years or pausing for a semester are simple solutions for college students who want to drop out. Support your child by making a plan to go back at a pre-determined time and use the break to regroup, find activities they enjoy, and feel empowered again.
For high school students who want to drop out, work with the school and a professional counselor to see what break options are available. This may be a family vacation, a long weekend, or a day off to regroup and take some space. Do not discount how a break can help breathe and get perspective, especially if a teen wants to drop out of school because of factors outside of school.
9. Build a Social Structure Within the School (Peers and Mentors)
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To encourage staying in school, building a community can go a long way. Does your child have a social group, hobbies, friends, mentors, or role models at their school?
Use school resources to connect teenagers with adults they can look up to and go to for support directly on campus. Work together to make new friends, have a social community for lunch breaks, and people who they can vent with about similar struggles.
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10. Look at All Options
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At the end of the day, don’t be afraid to consider every option and look outside the box for solutions. For some kids, changing their classes or building a relationship with a teacher can offer the support they need. For other teens who want to drop out of school, you may need additional support, new hobbies, and a more hands-on approach.
Use all resources from your school, government, county, and therapy center to help your child feel empowered. Never be afraid to ask for help.
11. ​Pause and Come Back to the Conversation
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When things are overwhelming, take a break. Both you and your child will benefit from days away, focusing on other things, and building your bond so you can lean on each other. When things get heated, take a break and consider scheduling a family therapy session.
Remember, nothing needs to happen right away and you can ask your child to wait a few weeks or months while you work together on a solution. Stay empowered together by remembering you want the best from each other and you are working together towards a common goal.
Get Help for Parents with Drop-Outs at The Family Center
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The Family Center is based in Ellicott City, Maryland and is experienced working with families whose teens want to drop out. Kids feel new pressure, are scared, have anxiety, or have lost their social group and no longer feel safe or confident in school.
By coming together with a positive approach, families can be united and work together instead of alienating their kids when they talk about dropping out. There are positive solutions and The Family Center is here to help. Call today for an appointment.